Week One: Learning a new normal + some of our favorite recipes

I would say on a scale of one to ten, this week ranked as a five. It wasn't awesome, it definitely could have been better, but it wasn't terrible either. Maybe very typical of learning a new normal. As my body craved brie and crackers and dark chocolate, my mind kept thinking "Only X more days, no, shoot. 3 more months!" With that kind of thinking it was easy to feel discouraged. Early on I realized what a job food does on the mind. I couldn't think in terms of time, I had to think in terms of what was normal for our family right. now.

The first challenge was breakfast. We can't have eggs. We can't have toast. We can only have limited fruit: a choice of 1 cup of berries and 1 apple, 1 banana or 2 kiwis. So what do we do for breakfast?? This was the first question I asked on Dr. Aviva's Healthiest Kids forum. The answers I got were exactly what I was dreading. 

Dinner for breakfast. Leftovers for breakfast. Pumpkin pudding...sweet potatoes...

INSERT SOBS.

The first morning Simon woke up and immediately went to the fridge. He does this every morning, looking for an apple. He may do this because it's really the only snack he can get for himself while everyone else is still in bed-- but I like to think he eats an apple every morning because when I was pregnant with him, Mike would toss me an apple before he went to work. If I didn't eat before I got out of bed in the morning, I would pass out and an apple was the easiest fix.

Moving on... I had decided when I was prepping for the journey that we would have to eat smaller portions of fruit so that we didn't run out of snack choices before the days end. Limiting fruit is very challenging for us. I offered Simon a half of an apple (which miraculously, he seemed to be ok with) and then I proceeded to make the grossest smoothie ever. I don't even remember what I tried to put in it. I've blocked it out. Sorry. 

In hindsight, we should have stayed home this first day to get a handle on things. But alas, we went out for the morning. I packed what I thought would be enough snacks-- but I was dead wrong. Limited kiwi sent the kids into a maniac whirlwind. 

Lunch was next. I had planned Meghan Telpner's Heck No Mayo Salmon Salad with quinoa, over a bed of spinach. Hummus and a choice of carrots or cucumber. For me, I skipped the salmon but I had everything else. I am not a seafood person. At. All. 

This seemed to go over well except Judah was not pleased by the lack of mayo in the salmon salad. 

Dinner was, well, dinner was DELICIOUS. Here is what we made:

Roasted chicken and vegetables over brown rice! Sounds so simple doesn't it? It was easy to make, tasty, clean, filling, and made great leftovers. After a full day of hunger pangs we were all incredibly thankful for this meal.

Roasted chicken

Roasted Chicken and Vegetables
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Serves 4 (roughly)
Ingredients
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1 Whole Chicken
1 Lemon
1 Head of Garlic
Salt
Pepper
Dry Mustard
Garlic Powder
Olive Oil
3 Sweet Potatoes, chopped
4 Carrots, chopped
1 Head of Broccoli, chopped
1 Red Onion, cut into wedges

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F
2. While the oven is preheating, prepare the chicken and chop all vegetables. Taking into account how long the individual vegetable takes to cook through, the vegetables should be roughly the same size.
3. To prepare the chicken start by taking out any giblets and filling the chicken with lemon wedges and garlic cloves. You may want to truss the chicken too, but I didn't. 
4. In a small bowl mix together a few glugs of olive oil, some mustard, garlic powder, salt and pepper. The amount is different every time I make this. You will have to adjust to your liking-- but my advice is to go a bit heavier on the spices then you think you should.
5. Once everything is mixed cover the chicken with the mixture. Make sure to cover the whole thing and even a bit inside the opening of the cave. Cave, yes. I don't like to use actual body part terms because well, I get too grossed out. 
6. Place the chicken in a roasting pan along with all of the vegetables. Sprinkle a bit of seasoning on the vegetables and stick in the preheated oven.
7. After 15 minutes turn the heat down to 350 degrees F and roast for 20 minutes per pound.
8. Serve over brown rice. 

Despite the wonderful meal, the evening brought some irritable feelings effecting all of us, but by the next morning we were back at it. Mike was off to work and the kids and I discussed how the day before went for us. We openly expressed how hard it was and how we were sad and frustrated at times. I asked them if they wanted to continue on (mostly Judah) and they said yes. In that moment, I was so proud of their determination and I already felt better about Day #2-- we had learned so much the previous day. I decided on something different for breakfast, set specific snack times to avoid the constant asking for food (and the possibility of running out!) and I spent the morning making large batches of our new staples.

For breakfast we each had banana boats and a half of an apple. The kids LOVED the banana boats! Morning snack consisted of black olives, almonds and a choice of carrots or celery. For lunch we had leftovers of the salmon salad over quinoa with a side of black beans and sweet potato. Afternoon snack was a 1/2 cup of frozen berries and for dinner I served leftovers of the yummy chicken (with absolutely no complaints)!

Banana Boats with almond butter, hemp seed and coconut flakes.

Banana Boats
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Ingredients (Serves 1)
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Half of a banana
Almond butter; unsweetened (we used chunky)
Ground flax seed, hemp seed, chia seed --whatever you prefer
Unsweetened coconut flakes
Pecans

1. Slice the banana lengthwise.
2. Smooth on some almond butter, sprinkle some flax, coconut flakes and pecans.
3. Eat!

Here is my FIRST WEEK RECAP!

• Making a shopping list takes a massive amount of time. I need to plan ahead for this.
• Pasta is my BEST FRIEND. We found a brown rice and quinoa pasta at Trader Joe's that is not only delicious but meets the criteria for our diet. Although processed foods are frowned upon, the pasta has saved my sanity for when I need to make something fast, or when we have nothing left and shopping is not an option. Hallelujah! 
• Making large batches of things like quinoa, brown rice and sweet potatoes is a GAME CHANGER.
• Setting snack times and sticking by them is super important for all of us. The kids are crazy if I don't do this and that makes ME crazy. It was interesting to see how much eating we all do out of boredom, having set snack times has pushed us past that into CREATIVITY.
• Oh, and Mike and the kids are sick. Interestingly enough this is often a sign that the body is detoxing! Yahoo!
• AND!! We got our apartment! Looks like PVD doula is moving back to PVD! 
• Husband says that he's "not hungry, he's just not satisfied." Our addiction to flour and sugar is really coming out, eeek!  But, we survived the first week and we are mostly smiling. This is good.

We can do this! 

Group B What?: The Ins and Outs of Group B Strep (GBS) and a Three Month Adventure to Repair the Gut

Late pregnancy belly

Hello there.

You're getting close to your due month. How exciting! You're feeling pretty good. Maybe you are ready to have this baby, maybe you need a bit more time. Overall you are happy to have had such a healthy pregnancy. Then your care provider tells you, you've tested positive for Group B Strep.

Group B what?

Group B Streptococcus.

You may have some questions. Here are some answers.

Bacteria

Group B Streptococcus (Group B Strep) is a bacteria that lives in the intestines of many people. It can travel down to the vagina, urinary tract and rectum. Often, it is the culprit of urinary tract infections (UTI). But for the most part it lives in the intestine and doesn't seem to be much of a problem. Some women find out that they have a GBS infection which would show up during routine urine testing, but most women would only know they were Group B positive because of a swab test around 37 weeks pregnant.

So what's the deal with pregnancy, then?

Well, here's the deal. If the GBS moves its way into the vagina and/or rectum during the last weeks of pregnancy it can get passed on to the baby (in other words, baby can become colonized with GBS) during a vaginal birth. It is not alarming when a baby becomes colonized but developing an infection is. The chances they would develop an infection are small but if they do, they can develop meningitis, pneumonia and sepsis. This is why, in the US, we screen for GBS and the standard is to treat with antibiotics during labor and birth.

Pretty straight forward, right? Sort of.

When I was pregnant with my first baby I tested positive for Group B Strep. I didn't know much about gut health and the negative effects of antibiotics on our bodies.

In fact, I didn't know anything.

I was concerned about mobility. I wanted to move while I labored and I wanted to make sure that this Group B business wouldn't take that away from me. I was told that I would have to be hooked up to an IV periodically to administer antibiotics but it shouldn't restrict my movement. That's all I wanted to know.

But there's so much more.

How many babies actually develop a GBS infection? What are the short term and long term effects of antibiotic use for the mom and baby? Do the benefits outweigh the risks? and is there any way to avoid testing positive for GBS?

There is a wonderful resource on this grand Wide World Web called Evidence Based Birth. Here, they lay out the research and what it has to say regarding pregnancy and birth issues, including Group B Strep.  If you want answers to the above questions, this should be your first stop.

Second stop, right here: Dr. Aviva Romm has some truly wonderful information on Group B Strep for the thoughtful mom, including how to protect against an infection. She also has interesting research, over at Healthiest Kids University that connects antibiotic use in newborns with allergies, eczema, asthma in childhood, obesity and diabetes.

So begins our journey. My baby is four now. She has a dairy sensitivity, eczema and another recurring rash that we have yet to explain. It doesn't sound too complicated, but when I began to realize that eczema, skin issues, even allergies are our body's way of telling us there's something wrong, I needed to get to the root of the problem!

Hoyles at a PVD playground.

Our family is embarking on a 3- month (at least!) hunt for healthier guts :) We will be following Dr. Aviva Romm's 4R program and although I am excited to begin trying to help our daughter kick some of her symptoms (and maybe some of mine too!) I can't imagine it will be easy with a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a husband who loves ice cream and coffee milk.

Join us week by week for highs, lows, recipes and more!

Babies don't like Dateline; and other reasons your labor may not be progressing

There are women giving birth every day of the year. At home, in the hospital– even in the car! It seems as if labor progressing is not problem. It seems as if a positive birth atmosphere would not matter much given the different circumstances in which women have their babies.

But it does. So much.

Here’s why: there’s this stuff, this hormone, called Oxytocin; also known as the “love molecule” or “trust molecule.” This delightful hormone is front and center in labor and delivery. In fact, if labor slows, the #1 intervention is to give the laboring woman intravenous Pitocin, which is the synthetic version of our body’s chemical, Oxytocin.   It is responsible for labor starting and for contractions to continue and increase in strength and frequency.

I was at a birth once with a client who loved the TV on for background noise. When I first met the expecting couple at the hospital, the TV was on in triage. My gut reaction was to let them know that they could shut it off and to offer to do that for them. I was surprised when the birth partner said to me “No, actually, she likes it on.” As a doula, it’s not my job to do what I think is best, or to organize the birth in a way that I would birth my baby, but to quietly support and trust my client’s wishes. After all, even if the TV on would stress ME out, if it was bringing my client comfort, then having the TV on was exactly what we needed.

Or not.

As time went on it became clear (particularly during an episode of Dateline) that the TV was pushing its way from a background role right up to lead and kicking out our good friend Oxytocin. What the doctor was telling us was that my client’s contractions had become ineffective and her cervix was not continuing to dilate. What I was noticing, was that the human connection in the room was almost non-existent. After 12 hours of staying at 5 cm dilated and closing in on a caesarean birth, I suggested that my client and her partner get close.

We shut the TV off, we said a prayer- as this was part of their support system, I put on some soft music and the two expecting parents shared conversation, massage and giggles.

One hour later, Mom was dilated almost fully and the baby was born shortly after.*

This is when I learned that babies don’t like Dateline.

They want to be born in an atmosphere of comfort, safety, trust and love. This is when the body can pump out oxytocin to it’s fullest.

As important as it is to learn how to promote oxytocin, it’s also important to understand what can inhibit it’s production. Aside from Dateline, here are 3 other ways to stop labor in it’s tracks.

#1 Bright Lights

You are sitting in a dimly lit restaurant enjoying a delicious meal, some fantastic live music and great company. You feel relaxed and are having a fantastic time. Suddenly, the light switch gets turned on. What do you do? What does everyone in the restaurant do? You squint your eyes, sit up straight (tense up) for a minute and maybe the musicians even stop playing for a second. People are probably feeling a bit exposed. 

Ina May Gaskin, midwife, birth activist and author of many books including “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” famously speaks about the Sphincter Law and it’s importance in childbirth. She says that sphincters (ahem, the cervix, too!) are shy.

We seek privacy to allow our sphincters to do their jobs, jobs that at the most basic level, have to do with hormone levels in the body. -Ina May Gaskin

Bottom line: It seems as if bright lights equal exposure. The cervix would prefer a safe, intimate and private environment where Oxytocin can thrive.

#2 Adrenaline

Adrenaline is our good friend in stressful situations. It is a hormone which prepares our muscles to move it or lose it! Although many popular Blockbuster hits would lead us to believe that this is precisely what we need for labor and birth– actually, the exact opposite is shown to be true. Adrenaline can actually shut down the production of oxytocin.

So, when exactly can adrenaline creep in and wreak havoc? According to Elizabeth Davis, co-author of Orgasmic Birth, ” when women become frightened or over-analytical or anxious about their progress.”

Let’s discuss fear for a moment. A woman may never feel fearful during her labor and birth, but her body may be reacting to the environment around her with fearful responses. The question isn’t “am I feeling afraid?” rather, it is “what might my body perceive as frightening?”

Some answers: commotion, bright lights, negative thoughts/words from herself, partner and especially caregivers, transferring location, loud noise, vaginal exams and spectators.

Bottom line: Birth is supposed to be an act of love. Treat it as such and adrenaline will have to hit the road.

#3 Lack of Support

Let me be clear, I am not saying lack of people in the room, I am saying lack of SUPPORT. When a laboring woman is with a person/people whom she loves and trusts, oxytocin is free to flow and the process should progress rather smoothly. If she is surrounded by people who are not in support of her birth wishes the exact opposite may ensue.

This is why a partner’s support is SO incredibly important. They can literally change the course of labor, at times, with a touch of their hand!

It’s also why a doula’s support has shown to decrease the length of labor, decrease the need for epidural, decrease the unplanned caesarean birth rate and increase positive feelings surrounding the birth experience.

Bottom line: Partners, don’t underestimate yourself! You have such an important role– your closeness is priceless! Hire a doula to free you up to be as present as you need to be for the laboring woman.

*Birth story shared with permission.

Why I became a Doula

“So… how did you decide to become a doula?” 

That’s a question I often get asked when interviewing with a potential client.

I usually smile, remembering my very own journey through pregnancy and birth and then proceed to tell them that it was a gradual happening starting with my daughter’s birth and ending some time after she was a year old; when I realized how much I loved all things birth and had naturally fallen into a support role as my peers began to have children right alongside me.

But that’s a lie. I’ve been lying.

I didn’t realize it until two days ago when Randy Patterson from Prodoula asked me: “Who is your business’ hero?”

Umm…. what? My business’ hero? I’m not very good on my feet– plus this was an intense question!

I sat and thought. I thought back to the story I always tell. I thought back to Judah’s birth– is she my business’ hero? I thought back to my friends’ births and their postpartum periods, were they my business’ heros?

I thought back to the very first birth I ever witnessed. Suddenly my face became hot and tears welled up in my eyes. 

I was 17 years old. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was taking a nap not expecting any company, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Kneeling by my bed, was my cousin, 17 years old, just like me.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said: “I never got my period. I’m pregnant.”

I sat up– still fuzzy– not knowing what to say.

She continued on… and the story wasn’t a pretty one. 

She eventually looked at me and said “I don’t know what to do. Everyone says I should have an abortion. What do I do?”

Suddenly, me, a 17 year old high schooler without a care in the world, who was obsessed with her boyfriend and auditioning for school plays, was assuming the position of authority in things BIRTH related. <GULP>

Lord knows if I even knew HOW a baby was birthed, never mind if my partnerless, jobless, senior in high school teenage cousin should go through with her pregnancy!?

Did I mention I’m not quick on my feet?

I took a breath and muttered “I’ll help you. Whatever you need. I’ll help you”

For the next nine months, I quietly watched. I watched as her body changed and grew. I watched as she was congratulated, was given loads of advice and I watched as she was stared at and probably talked about behind her back. I watched as she navigated school as, quite possibly, the only other kid growing another human being.

I watched her strength.

Springtime came, and I was playing Peter Pan in my high school’s yearly musical. I got word that I would be needed bright and early the next morning for my cousin’s induction. My director gave me the day off and headed to her house.

The night before, we packed her bag. I remember the little diapers… I was so excited. A baby was about to be born!

When I think back on it now, I wonder how she must have been feeling.

Nervous? Embarrassment? Dread? Resentment? Guilt? Shame?

The details that I remember from the birth are unlike the details that I remember when I attend births now. I remember taking videos, I remember writing down different things that she was saying during the labor. I remember playing card games and I remember falling asleep outside in the hallway while she got her epidural.

I remember how she pushed. I remember how hard it was physically but how incredibly intense and beautiful it all was.

I remember that I wasn’t afraid.

I remember his black, fuzzy hair and his red skin and squishy nose.

I remember holding him. I remember that she didn’t want to hold him.

But I remember how she did, anyway.

SHE is my business’ hero. SHE is the reason I love birth and I support families.

Because the journey is long sometimes, and the journey is unexpected sometimes. The journey is bittersweet sometimes. It can be joyful, it can be easy, it can be enjoyable, but not always.

This is not a position on abortion. This is not a position on epidural or induction…on purple pushing or passive descent.

This is about supporting a mother in making the decisions that SHE thinks are best for her and her family. This is about the STRENGTH within a woman that defies circumstance, feeling and plans.

SHE is how it all started for me. Thirteen years ago on a sunny day in April, when if someone would have mentioned the word “doula” to me I would have tilted my head and said:

“What? What’s that?”