Pregnancy brings with it a whole lot of waiting. With all the unknowns and uncertainties the waiting can be exhausting, sometimes excruciating, perhaps.
It starts even before the positive pregnancy test. It starts in those very long two weeks between ovulation and the two pink lines.
But it doesn't end there.
The two lines bring 5 or so more weeks until the first ultrasound... it doesn't end there either! Waiting to meet with your care provider, waiting to HEAR the heartbeat, waiting to find out the gender, waiting to feel the kicks, waiting for the partner to feel the kicks and then finally, waiting for the baby to be born. Waiting while people ask "When you are due?" Waiting while people remark "You are ready to pop!" Waiting through the Braxton Hicks, the sciatic pain, swollen ankles and the mental exhaustion of any minute or weeks to come.
I don't know that there are many women who DON'T feel the weight of this waiting-- it may be necessary, it may be preparatory of things to come. But is there anything we can do to ease the anxiety? Maybe to even enjoy it?
It's easy to forget that two weeks is just 14 days. That one month is peanuts in comparison to a child's life. It's easy to forget that our bodies are capable of growing babies and most times they know exactly what to do (along with our babies) to grow and give birth. One of my favorite articles about the last days of pregnancy actually names the space in between when a mother is full term and the time her baby decides to be born. It's a beautiful perspective and makes me think that maybe it's helpful to NAME where we are at. If we had a name for the time between conception and the positive pregnancy test, could we be more at peace with it? If we remembered that our baby can't show us his or her gender until a certain point, would we be more patient to embrace the space where he is growing and changing? Our minds are powerful and perspective plays a major role on our emotions and well being. The good news is we can take on new perspectives!
Stay Off Google
There's no easier way to confuse yourself then by asking Google! Instead, bring your questions to your care provider, to friends and family whom you trust and respect or to your doula. Have them provide you with the resources you need. Ask yourself if knowing the answer to your questions will serve you or cause you to worry unnecessarily. What do you have control over right now? What is necessary for you to know right now? Answer these questions and then go and read a good book that has nothing to do with pregnancy and birth, start a new TV series or pick up a new hobby!
Write to your baby! Journaling is an excellent way to process your thoughts and feelings, to activate creativity and to keep a baby book without the rigidity of filling in blanks, dates and boxes. Writing to your baby (or to your body if you're TTC) is a way for you to speak out the positive. It's a way to process through anxiety and whatever emotions that may arise. It's a way to be in the moment instead of wishing for the next one and it's also a fantastic way to practice being honest and transparent with your baby-- keeping the lines of communication open always.
What a remarkable time you are in right now. Growing another human. The feelings that come along with it can feel insurmountable. Breathe. Lots of deep breaths knowing that are the best person to grow YOUR baby, you will make the best choices for YOUR family and as long as you are caring for YOU, your baby will be cared for too.